It's days like today that remind me that the world sucks. Sin sucks. It made the world the crappy, heartbreaking place it is now. Death, unwanted change, jealousy, oppression, anger, sadness. I wish I had my own private island where I could escape. I can think of maybe five people in the world I'd allow there.
I spent half of last night hearbroken over the fact that my dance teacher was leaving forever and I didn't even get to drive her to the airport. There are very few people I'd say have had a huge impact in my life, and she's in the top two. She lit up my life with wisdom and purpose, and she had this habit of giving me this smile and a wink that said "you've got this." The last time I saw her, as I went to get in the car to leave, I turned to wave goodbye and she gave me a smile and a wink. Like, "don't worry, we've both got this. It'll be okay." Somehow though, I don't feel like it's okay. One of the best friends I've ever had or will have is gone. In another country where I probably won't get to visit. Available only by email.
I'm not the strong type. I'm more the break-down-and-cry type, and today gave me ample reason to do so. More than just my dance teacher leaving. How is it that the world pushes you down, and keeps pushing and pushing and pushing until you crack? Why does it all happen at once? I feel like I have these weights keeping me from moving. I just want to curl up and let life pass by right now. The only hope I have is that Christ wants to remove those weights. To stop the world from pushing. In the race of life I feel like I'm moving at a crawl right now, but thankfully that won't last forever, because I have the One on my side who said His yoke is easy, and His burden is light.
"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also set aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." - Hebrews 12:1
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